Agony Aunt Letters

Dear Agony Aunt:

 8 months ago I very regrettably had a fling and my husband and I are now trying to heal and get over the pain I have caused.  My Husband has been very understanding and has stuck by me, but now the anger has come out.

 My husband rang this other man and starting being abusive.  He retorted by saying he has photos of me that would humiliate him and me.  The only photos I can think of were done on a mobile phone and they weren't hard core so to speak, but just stupid pictures.

 At the time of discovery I did not tell my husband, as I was full of enough shame and did not think these were relevant, but now my husband is questioning me all over again.  This other man is threatening to send them in the post (he does not have our address) but I am frightened. 

 My husband will give our address to him.  I have said I do not know what photos he could have (still), so I am now worried.

 Should I tell my husband what I think they are in case he gets to see them and cause more hurt?   Or ride the storm and not feel emotionally blackmailed by this?  I am completely worn down with it all now and want my life back with my husband.

 Cheating Wife

Dear Agony Aunt

This may be the strangest request for relationship advice you've ever had.
My husband is a model car collector, he is a good man and a excellent father and I love him deeply.

However , his cars are leaving me lonely, he doesn't leave me short of money and he does spend quality time with me and the children.

I don't want him to stop , I just wish I had something I could collect, preferably something small and that I can not spend millions on just to get started.

I want to be a collector too.

Dear Agony Aunt:

 My husband and I have been married for a year and I am having problems with my two sisters-in-law.

 They go way back and have been great friends for years.  I feel like they don't make an effort to get to know me and include me in anything.   I have tried to call them up and ask them to do things and be interested in their lives but I am not receiving anything much from their end.

 I'm getting to where I don't even want to try anymore and I know that is horrible.  I don't enjoy being around them when my husband and I are with them.  We see them often because they both live very close to us and my husband is close to his brothers.

 I thought that things would change once my husband and I were married but they are the same  towards me. Whenever the guys have a day together I know to make plans with my friends because my sisters-in-law will make their own plans (with each other or their own friends).

 This is really bothering me and I don't know what to do. I have never tried to talk with them  about this because I don't want to cause any trouble.  These girls are the type to isolate people out if they don't like them or what they have done.  

 I don't know what to do! I've tried to make my own friends outside of the family but it's still hard.  These people are supposed to be my family but they don't act like it at all! Please help!

 Out of the Loop

Dear Agony Aunt,

I need some relationship advice, I was very good friends with a girl I used to work with 14 years ago. In fact we could have easily become more than friends at the time but as she was engaged. I did not go any further even though I wanted to. I played the gentleman. Suddenly the girl left her job and I was heartbroken. I didn't realize--being so young-- that the feelings I had were so strong. 

In the couple of years after, we kept in touch through letters and phone calls which were very emotional. But in time we grew apart even though she was never far from my thoughts. Last year I went to a work reunion only to be told the girl of my dreams had died! I was crestfallen and couldn't believe it was true.  I used all my old contacts to track my girl down and to my joy I found her alive!!  But her existence had been horrid. She had been raped by her former boyfriend and beaten and is now in a loveless marriage to a man she no longer totally loves or respects, and now her only joy is her three kids. In the last nine months we have exchanged emails letters and text messages at times at a startling rate 20 or texts a day! We have helped each other thru some personal hells in the last nine months and it's become clear that my feelings are now deep. It's an emotional torrent from my point of view and when my girl lets her guard drop there are signs of the same in return.

At the moment I have nobody in my life I am single but I am around 150  miles from my girl but I am due to be in her area helping out a friend in six weeks time and already we were talking about meeting up.  My problem is at times when we exchange texts that are more than "friends" my girl will not text the next day. I don't know if there is another reason (maybe she is just busy) but I fear she may be scared that I will be another man in her life who will hurt her, even though I would never ever hurt her. I would easily die for her. How do you best advise I show her I am for real or how do I tell her this? Also, when we meet, I am very sure it is going to be very emotionally charged. I want her so much but I keep getting messages that she wants to break up from her husband by this time next year ...... should I therefore just play the friend and hide my emotion at this time or sweep her off her feet?

Torn